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Certainly there are stories on this site of how adopting a Taken in Hand dynamic has improved people’s marriages, but I just wanted to point out that this might not be the sole or even the primary reason for choosing such a dynamic. Some people like myself choose it because it expresses their sexuality and adds more excitement to everyday life. Others select it because it fits with their belief system of what is ‘natural’. There are myriad reasons why people might choose this lifestyle. It’s easy to get bogged down in looking for the problematic causes of sexual submission (or dominance for that matter) whilst ignoring the wealth of testimony to how satisfying and exciting it is!

by Lauren on 2006 Sep 10 - 23:24 | reply to this comment
Men With Their Wires Crossed
So to sum up this long post, my point is that even in cases where there are in fact serious problems of childhood abuse and crossed wires and even psychiatric diagnoses such as borderline personality disorder, it does not follow that a Taken In Hand relationship is a bad idea.

Would this be the same if it was the man who has his wires crossed in the same way? Will feeling empowered by his woman in a Taken In Hand relationship by her submission to him free him from his own fear of abandonment and loss of interest, feed his need for intensity (violence) stemming from childhood abuse, and bring him peace?

Peach

by Peach on 2006 Sep 11 - 02:50 | reply to this comment
Re: Men With Their Wires Crossed
Would this be the same if it was the man who has his wires crossed in the same way?