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I have found this to be true, but from the other side of the coin. I’m a straight up guy, who, to paraphrase the above, “owns his own stuff”. I’m the custodial parent of my 17 year old son, and have been since he was 4. I’ve been the responsible one, as a boyfrend, husband, provider and a father. I can’t be it all, but I try my best. Yet, incredibly, I see so many women gravitate towards losers, that it’s not funny. Your statement above, Kat, that you’ve dated guys with rough edges, but you thought that you saw some good in them, only reinforces my belief that most women look for guys that they think they can change. Self assured men, yet who are willing to own up to their fundamental flaws, who are still solid human beings- we don’t even cross your (and your fellow traveler sisters) radar. Fortunately, there are a few women out there who know who they are, and realistically won’t settle for less than they deserve.

That kind of segues into a friend of mine’s theory of attraction- that a big component of attraction is that people are attracted to their mutual dysfunctions, and not by the conventions that we hold oh so dear. But, that’s another topic for another time.