https://bit.ly/3BLds3V https://bit.ly/3QIoivO https://bit.ly/3Bk9pdl https://bit.ly/3BM6lbs https://bit.ly/3BNBHyB https://bit.ly/3BINfDa https://bit.ly/3QQ5pHt https://bit.ly/3QJE75j

Please do not throw tomatoes...

Sharon (ducking out fast...)

by sarahdinah on 2005 Nov 15 - 01:18 | reply to this comment There are men who believe this I married one. I recall an incident early in our marriage, when things were very stormy indeed between us. In the course of a row my husband suddenly shouted at me angrily "You're a woman, you should do as you're told" I reacted furiously to this, but at the same time something inside me responded, part of me agreed with him. I got a sort of guilty thrill when I thought about him saying this to me.

Unfortunately, my husband did not at that time know how to make me do as I was told, neither did I. He has always been a very dominant man, but he didn't know how to be dominant in way that would bring out the right sort of response in me. Nevertheless, when he shouted at me "you should do as you're told" under the indignation of my response there was that guilty voice that whispered "Yes".

by Louise C on 2005 Nov 15 - 06:14 | reply to this comment no tomatoes Sharon, In the first sentence you write "I wish I could find a man who believed that women have to do as they are told."

Later you write "No, really what I seek, what I long for, is a truly male-led relationship in which I may defer to my partner".

What jumps out at me is the shift from have to may.

I believe that attitudes in the US are moving (slowly) in a direction that accepts what is called "traditional" relationships. But I think you press a hot button for a lot of people, including me, when you state or suggest that people 'have' to behave a certain way towards other people.

RichM

by RichM on 2005 Nov 15 - 16:58 | reply to this comment I wasn't clear then Actually, I seek a male-led relationship in which, having chosen such a relationship, I must defer to my partner, a man whom I trust and have ceded authority to." I supppose there is a "may" in there, as in "having chosen such a relationship," but once in the relationship, it's not a choice per se. In stating this, however, I recognize and have always recognized that the choosing of such a partner is critical, for there are those who would take advantage of such a relationship. And then again, there are those who would not.